Children’s Songs and Fairytales…WTF???

The other night, I was over at my cousin’s home reading my nieces and nephew a bedtime book of nursery rhyme songs and I realized something…Their Gruesome and Morbid. I’m not kidding, many of the lyrics are TERRIBLE. Take for example Three...

Do’s and Don’ts in a Boy’s and Girl’s Bathroom

Sometimes I get bored from slaving at my job trying to think of creative things to come up with for add campaigns, so, I just think about funny things to write about.  Inspired by using the women’s rest room just prior to writing this, I got...

Yikes!!! There's Wasp in Here

So…I’m sitting at my desk just plotting along, when all of a sudden, I hear this buzzing noise. Now…The only thing that should be buzzing on a 12th floor office building is the copy machine (ours is LOUD), or, the two Nymphomaniac employees doing it...

10 Reasons Why Your Flight is Delayed

1.   The pilot is waiting on last call from the airport bar.. 2.   Airport workers aren’t done sweeping the runway. 3.   The plane you’re waiting for had to stop at a gas station to ask for directions. 4.   Flight attendant ran out...

The “F” Word

I played hooky today and while doing so, I began thinking about the “F” word. What??? You never think about the “F” word??? Oh come on. It’s something that I grant you most men enjoy more than women, BUT, I for one really enjoy it. I think it is VERY...

DMV's Driver's Tests-Are You Kidding Me?

When I was sixteen, like any other kid in America, I wanted to learn how to drive. Now, let's be clear about something, in MY mind, I already KNEW how to drive. I just figured that the road test was something that the County's required to make a buck....

Tit for Tat

The other day I asked someone for information about something and she said….Tit for Tat. Now, it’s not like I don’t know what this expression means, it’s just my mind congers up all different kinds of scenarios when this is said. Maybe it’s...

Why Do Turtles Live So Long?

At times, I just come up with the craziest of ideas. The other night I was just sitting in my house reading (well…OK, I was watching TV), and a thought just occurred to me. Why to turtles live so long? I know strange hu, it’s just how my mind...

What IS it With Americans and the Metric System?

Many moons ago when dinosaurs still roamed the Earth, a group of wise and scholarly men, while dining on Stegosaurus burgers, decided that it would be a good idea if everyone on the planet converted to the metric system. This SEEMED like a...

Pets and Annoyances

Before I start, let me say that I love animals….I do. So, even though the S.P.C.A. bought me a twin engine Cessna with NO strings attached, just let me say that I believe that everyone should adopt these cute little animals. There….that should do...

Thunderstorms

Quiet winds blow clouds of black into night’s embrace. Rolling, rumbling growls of angst dance across foreboding clouds. Louder and louder the sound of thunder grows, cracking, like sounds of glass breaking under an open hearth’s...

Sensous Sexy Tuesday

Taste my sweetened pomegranate lips. Squeeze my melons firmly with your hands. Run your soft fingers over my peach fuzz. Now play with me no further, eat me. I am delicious, I am fruit. Hey....what did you THINK I was talkin' about?...

Some Like it Hot Rant

OMG!!!! It's 112 out right now and climbing. Can you say HOT.....We reached a record yesterday, it was 118, 4th highest temp EVER! I don't wanna say it's hot, but,even the cactus plants are begging for rain. I mean the residents from Hell came to...

Super Powers...What's Yours?

I was talking with brainstormer the other day and we were talking about super powers. I found this to be an interesting conversation and it got me to wondering, just what super power would I like. Hmmmm....Now realize, you could have ANY kind of...