Please Leave a Message

Hello…You’ve reached the voice mail of Sooz. I am currently skiing in Aspen right now, so please leave a message. My menu items have changed so listen carefully and choose accordingly. Press 1, if you are lonely and want to speak to me about any...

Downtime At the North Pole

We ALL know the story of Santa Clause, the Elves and of course the Reindeer readying themselves for the Holidays, BUT…I’m here to tell you the tales of the Downtime activities at the North Pole. A common misconception about Santa’s weight is...

My Thoughts At Christmas

The Holidays are upon us and I wanted to add my 2 cents worth. I am a very private person (Anyone laugh) and not having my parents living, and being an only child, I, like many, find the Holidays a little depressing. Yes I have family I will be...

Relationships “R” Us!!!

Wouldn’t it be great if you could just walk into a store like Relationships “R” Us and just order one wonderful long and beautiful relationship? Wouldn’t that just be Hunky Dory? Well You CAN… Now at my NEW store, Relationships “R” Us!!! That’s...

I Wish

I wish for Humanity to recognize their own existence and treat ALL with respect and kindness. I wish for all the children of the world to unite in song and spread rapture throughout our world. I wish for the milk of human kindness to spill...

The Cure For PMS, Yeah…Right

I just read a post by Janelle at Thoughts.com which talked about her not wanting to be around any of us Humanoid characters. After much research and qualitative study regarding the matter, she determined that it WASN’T depression but PMS. OK...

Gift Wrapping Tips For Men

This is the Christmas Season, a time for joy, family and merriment. It’s also a time for shopping, cooking, trimming the tree, stringing lights, becoming EXHAUSTED, and let’s not forget the most TRYING thing of all…WRAPPING a Buzillion Xmas gifts. ...

My Open Letter to Santa

Dear Santa: I’m writing you this letter today in the hopes of getting some early Xmas. gifts. I apologize in advance if my spelling is a little unclear, I’ve been into the Vodka and Cranberry this morning as I’m off work for another week and it...

The 12 Days of Christmas…SERIOUSLY???

OK…First up, the 12 days…WTF??? I don’t think that Christmas EVER had 12 days with gifts, Hanukkah…8 days maybe, but 12, Kwanza…Don’t know if they even GOT gifts. So…Have you ever really LISTENED to this song, the gifts are ridiculous, well,...

What Name Did You Give Your Genitals Or Other Stuff

I’ve been off a couple of days with Pneumonia and as you can probably see, I’m “Bored in the Gourd”. I sat here thinking of all the PG things I could write about Christmas, BUT, then I remembered I missed Sexy Tuesday so I thought I would write...

A Little Insight About Myself

I have been on Thoughts now for almost a year, and I thought it was time to give you a “sneak peak” into the girl who loves to write humor. I do this as a stress relieving mechanism to help me with the pressures of my busy lifestyle, and to help to...

Top Ten Text Messages

10.   The stick was positive AND the rabbit died. I guess the “rabbit” bit off more of the “stick” than she could chew.  9.    Let me put it THIS way Bill…The burned out light in my ICEBOX…It only pertains to YOU…  8.    What do you MEAN...

Seven Laws We Can’t Escape

I’ve been around on this planet now for almost 39 years, and I have discovered that there are certain inalienable laws we can just NOT escape. 1.   The Law of Picking our nose while in our cars… Oh RIGHT…You’ve never done this??? We’ve ALL...