A Rejection Letter to William Shakespeare

 

Dear Mr. Shakespeare:

We appreciate the submission of your play, The Taming of the Shrew. I’m afraid at this time we must humbly decline publication of this work. You see, there were a few flaws here-in we believe would never be accepted by the general viewing audience.

 

For example: The way you express yourself, while flowery, is hard as HELL to understand. Take the line, “Sit by my side, and let the world slip: we shall ne'er be younger.”  SERIOUSLY BILL??? A play is supposed to be understood by everyone, not just few who speak Pig Latin.

 

Or take for example the line, “If I be waspish, best beware my sting.” WTF!!! I don’t think I know of ONE person who could POSSIBLY understand such drivel. Also, the words… Thee, and Thy, gotta go. Bill, if you’re EVER gonna get your work published, you have to relate to ALL people, not just the Nobility.

 

Another thing we commented on was the whole concept of the play. I mean seriously Bill; in the beginning taking a drunkard and making him believe he was Nobility…Ahhhhh NO!!! Or how about the idea of the shrew itself, when women see this, they are gonna hang you in the stock until your arms fall off. Why in God’s name would you wanna PISS OFF the gentler sex?

 

You know as well as I do that it’s the women who will be attending, as the men must be DRAGGED to see something this trivial. For the Men, I would suggest more ACTION, like horse chases and such. You really DO want to appeal to everyone.

 

Once again I’m sorry we couldn’t publish this for you. We suggest you go BACK to your writing table and Pen something else. Thank you kindly for your submission and good luck.

 

 

 

 

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Comments (66)

  1. bythesea

    Rejectith my fair play or na
    Onith to differ publishers I shall seek till upon one morow I shall my words be on yonder stage ..
    Regards
    Will

    February 01, 2014
    1. dreamshadow59

      Keep tryin’ Will….Use the correct words and then we’ll See…Hehehehehehe….

      February 01, 2014
  2. BootLady

    Methinks thou dost protest overmuch, fair one. Let not thy bloggeth vex thee so. (I have no idea what I just said)

    February 01, 2014
    1. dreamshadow59

      I THINK you said you just saw a cow taking a DUMP in the meadow…

      February 01, 2014
  3. EZWAYZ

    Now Henry V, there’s a man’s play by Dear ol’ Billy

    February 01, 2014
    1. dreamshadow59

      Indeed…It had a little bit of everything in it…

      February 01, 2014
      1. EZWAYZ

        and romance in the end

        February 01, 2014
        1. dreamshadow59

          Funny…I don’t remember the romance here???

          February 01, 2014
          1. EZWAYZ

            the very end where he is trying to convince Kate (Catherine princess of France) to marry him with his broken French

            February 02, 2014
            1. dreamshadow59

              Ohhhhhh….OK….There was just so much fighting I lost track…. Thanks…

              February 02, 2014
          2. EZWAYZ

            I like Brannagh’s version (the movie, we don’t have a whole lot of Shakespeare around here)

            February 02, 2014
            1. dreamshadow59

              I didn’t see the movie….I saw it at a Shakespeare Festival one year.

              February 02, 2014
          3. EZWAYZ

            Oh rub it in!

            February 02, 2014
            1. dreamshadow59

              Hehehehehehe………..

              February 02, 2014
  4. proto-gnostic

    Lmfao Sooz!!! Such language pfft

    February 01, 2014
    1. dreamshadow59

      I’m glad that you had a giggle then today…

      February 01, 2014
      1. proto-gnostic

        A few, and thanks to that rejection letter, a couple more How you doing tonight Sooz???

        February 01, 2014
        1. dreamshadow59

          Doing well…and you?? Feeling any better???

          February 01, 2014
          1. proto-gnostic

            Much!!! Only alcohol in my system tonight Lol

            February 01, 2014
            1. dreamshadow59

              Much better…I’m glad….You sounded pretty out of it last night…

              February 02, 2014
  5. rebecca2013

    hahahah….. excellent chica

    February 02, 2014
    1. dreamshadow59

      You’re always so kind with your comments…Thank you….Kisssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      February 02, 2014
      1. rebecca2013

        some comments I am very rude and have to apologize like the other day when I “told Matthew to go BLANK his bitch whore mother” not one of my finest moments…

        February 02, 2014
        1. dreamshadow59

          You had ME scared!!! Hehehehehe…..

          February 02, 2014
          1. rebecca2013

            scared? really? how so? seeing the dark side of me? trust and believe chica that is ONE side that is dangerous

            February 02, 2014
            1. dreamshadow59

              Just teasing you….You DID swear like a drunken sailor though….Hehehehehe….

              February 02, 2014
            2. rebecca2013

              drunken AIRBORNE HooRAH!!

              February 02, 2014
            3. dreamshadow59

              Heehehehehehehehehe!!!!!

              February 02, 2014
            4. rebecca2013

              Cheers….

              February 02, 2014
            5. dreamshadow59

              Cheers!!!!

              February 02, 2014
            6. rebecca2013

              BURP….. ohhhh dear…. excuse me!!

              February 02, 2014
            7. dreamshadow59

              Hehehehe….Now you sound like ME!!!

              February 02, 2014
  6. SEC

    foresooth what inarticulate and unlettered rapscallions these readers be!

    February 02, 2014
    1. dreamshadow59

      HUH?????? Hehehehehehehe……

      February 02, 2014
      1. SEC

        Thee did but chide another for improper language

        February 02, 2014
        1. dreamshadow59

          Let me ask you something…Are YOU Will’s Niece???? Hehehehehehehe………..

          February 02, 2014
          1. SEC

            Nope

            February 02, 2014
            1. dreamshadow59

              Great great great great great Granddaughter???? Hehehehehe……..

              February 02, 2014
          2. SEC

            Avid reader, mother a librarian.

            February 02, 2014
            1. dreamshadow59

              Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE Shakespeare, go to a festival every time one comes….

              February 02, 2014
          3. SEC

            I’ve read most of his work and I do enjoy most his comedies followed closely by historical.

            February 02, 2014
            1. dreamshadow59

              So have I….What do you think of the controversy concerning him writing the work???

              February 02, 2014
          4. SEC

            Somebody trying to make an name for themselves with very little evidence.

            February 02, 2014
  7. lukeslomka

    when my english teacher at school did Macbeth with us it was great. having someone to explain the meaning ment i loved it and found it really deep and meaningful. then when i watched it recently i didnt understand half as much and didnt enjoy it half as much. the language is a real barrier to what are some of the best stories around being understood and enjoyed by people like me.

    February 02, 2014
    1. dreamshadow59

      Yeah…You really have to be able to digest what he is saying from his writings….

      February 02, 2014
  8. cjb321

    Wouldst thou my writing now deny
    Thy words maketh my heart sigh
    Alas, I must now be away
    Mayhap come back another day. Fini P.S. Kilroy was here. lol

    February 02, 2014
    1. dreamshadow59

      Standing “O”…..Great Job!!! I loved it….

      February 02, 2014
      1. cjb321

        curtseys low Thank Thee. lol

        February 02, 2014
        1. dreamshadow59

          Returns gesture MiLady……

          February 02, 2014
  9. geminigem2

    lol yal are so funny

    February 03, 2014
    1. dreamshadow59

      Awww…Thank you, I’m glad you enjoyed it…

      February 03, 2014
  10. uncle_charlie

    I’ll wait fer Willy’s story ta shaw up down at da movee haus wid dem the ‘Duck fellas’ starin…..me thinks.

    February 03, 2014
    1. dreamshadow59

      Hehehehehehehehe!!!!!!!!!!! LMAO….GREAT comment UC…

      February 03, 2014
  11. mandarsal

    Who the heck is bill was referred in rejection letter..?

    February 05, 2014
    1. dreamshadow59

      William/Bill…….

      February 05, 2014
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    August 15, 2015
  13. dreamshadow59

    So glad you enjoyed it…It was fun to write…

    February 03, 2014