Excuse Me…Your Barn Door Is Open

How many times has this happened to you, you’re talking with a guy and you notice that his zipper to his pants is down? On many of these occasions, I’ve heard folks say, ”Excuse me but your barn door is open.”

My question is, is there REALLY a BARN in his pants, and if so, what do we expect that might escape…A Giraffe perhaps? What IF Little Jack Horner that sits in the corner of his pants DOES peak out, are we gonna shudder like we’ve NEVER SEEN Mr. Bobo? Are we gonna STARE at it like, “Oh my God, what do we do now“, or are we just going to take matters into our OWN hands and place Mr. Bobo back where he belongs?

In order to AVOID all the perplexing thoughts, I would just say, “ Hey Dude, your zipper is down.” Doesn’t this really make more sense than to say, “Your barn door is open?” Paaalllease!!!

Another saying that bugs me is, “ Shut your Pie hole.” See where I’m goin’ here? First off, What the HELL does that even MEAN? Pies don’t HAVE holes and anyway, why would we wanna be closing them up if they did?

The correct response here is, “ Hey you helplessly mouth challenged moron, Close your mouth before you start swallowing flies.” Just tell it like it is folks, much easier for the recipient to know what to do…Much less thinking needed.

My favorite though has GOT to be the plumber, you know what I’m talkin’ about here, the man with the biggest bent over Butt crack you ever saw coming out of his pants.

It seems to me that we can tell people to zip up, and SHUT up, BUT, we can’t bring ourselves to tell the repairman he is exposing the GRAND CANYON in his pants when he bends over. He COULD wear his belt a little tighter so it wouldn’t be exposed, OR, at LEAST make up an excuse like, “Sorry…There was an Earthquake in my pants and I’m afraid my ass cracked. Ghheese.


I hope this has been helpful and remember, If ya CAN’T say anything, Just point at the imperfection and LAUGH like Hell…:)

Until Later…

To leave a comment, please sign in with
or or

Comments (14)

  1. Dream_On

    Sue, you crack me up! Laughs!!!

    June 27, 2012
    1. dreamshadow59

      I’m really glad you enjoyed it, I had a lot of fun writing it.

      June 27, 2012
      1. Dream_On

        I needed a smile and a chuckle…you gave that to me. Thank you!

        June 28, 2012
        1. dreamshadow59

          I’m glad you enjoyed it Dream, I enjoyed writing it.

          June 28, 2012
  2. funfreak

    Thank you, Sue! I laughed till my pie hole hurt!

    June 27, 2012
  3. dreamshadow59

    Hehehehe…Joanne, You AALWAYS crack me up.

    June 27, 2012
  4. tiggers

    haha this is so funny and yes I would totally tell him to zip it up !

    June 28, 2012
    1. dreamshadow59

      I really had a good time writing this one, I cracked MYSELF up. Hehehehe.

      June 28, 2012
      1. tiggers

        I bet you did !!! I sure cracked up over it lol

        June 28, 2012
  5. Rebecca2000

    Hehe you always make me laugh.

    June 28, 2012
    1. dreamshadow59

      Awww…Thanks Beck, That means a lot to me. Glad you enjoyed it, I had a hoot writing it.

      June 28, 2012
  6. sleepyblogger

    The earthquake joke made me chuckle. If a woman were to acknowledge my penis getting some air, then I would lightly play it off. “Darn, ya got me. I was worried about it getting caught in the zipper and didn’t want to risk it.” Sleep well…

    June 28, 2012
    1. dreamshadow59

      Glad you enjoyed it, it was fun to write.

      June 28, 2012
  7. thoughts_jeremy

    Don’t worry. Whenever I’m with a woman and my zipper is open, it’s on purpose.

    I mean…Forget I said that. Anyway, I know someone who has a problem with the plumber butt crack. I want to say something but just can’t bring myself to do so. It’s really distracting.

    June 28, 2012