How many times has this happened to you, you’re talking with a guy and you notice that his zipper to his pants is down? On many of these occasions, I’ve heard folks say, ”Excuse me but your barn door is open.”
My question is, is there REALLY a BARN in his pants, and if so, what do we expect that might escape…A Giraffe perhaps? What IF Little Jack Horner that sits in the corner of his pants DOES peak out, are we gonna shudder like we’ve NEVER SEEN Mr. Bobo? Are we gonna STARE at it like, “Oh my God, what do we do now“, or are we just going to take matters into our OWN hands and place Mr. Bobo back where he belongs?
In order to AVOID all the perplexing thoughts, I would just say, “ Hey Dude, your zipper is down.” Doesn’t this really make more sense than to say, “Your barn door is open?” Paaalllease!!!
Another saying that bugs me is, “ Shut your Pie hole.” See where I’m goin’ here? First off, What the HELL does that even MEAN? Pies don’t HAVE holes and anyway, why would we wanna be closing them up if they did?
The correct response here is, “ Hey you helplessly mouth challenged moron, Close your mouth before you start swallowing flies.” Just tell it like it is folks, much easier for the recipient to know what to do…Much less thinking needed.
My favorite though has GOT to be the plumber, you know what I’m talkin’ about here, the man with the biggest bent over Butt crack you ever saw coming out of his pants.
It seems to me that we can tell people to zip up, and SHUT up, BUT, we can’t bring ourselves to tell the repairman he is exposing the GRAND CANYON in his pants when he bends over. He COULD wear his belt a little tighter so it wouldn’t be exposed, OR, at LEAST make up an excuse like, “Sorry…There was an Earthquake in my pants and I’m afraid my ass cracked. Ghheese.
I hope this has been helpful and remember, If ya CAN’T say anything, Just point at the imperfection and LAUGH like Hell…:)