Giggle Time--Jokes

 
 

 
 
 
Condoms don’t guarantee safe sex anymore…..
A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman’s husband.
 
Lance Armstrong I think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong, 
especially after what he achieved, winning 7 Tour de France races, whilst on drugs.
When I was on drugs, I couldn't even find my f-ing bike.
 
Drive By
A guy broke into my apartment last week. He didn’t take my TV,  just the remote. 
Now he drives by and changes the channels.
Sick bastard!
 
The Agony of Aging 
On the morning that Daylight Savings Time ended I stopped in to visit my aging friend.
He was busy covering his penis with black shoe polish.
I said to him, "You better get your hearing checked - You're supposed to turn your clock back".
 
VIDEO SCAM 
Just got scammed out of  $25.  Bought Tiger Woods DVD entitled "My Favorite 18 Holes".
Turns out it's all about golf.  Absolute waste of  money!
Pass this on so others don't get scammed.
 
 
Pregnant Prostitute 
Doctor asks pregnant prostitute, "do you know who the father is?"
"Hey dumb ass, if you ate a can of beans would you know which one made you fart?"
 








=
To leave a comment, please sign in with
or or

Comments (17)

  1. MindLint

    I refuse to laugh. Not gonna do it. Forget it. I have a straight face. No smile. So there!!!

    February 11, 2014
  2. dreamshadow59

    Liar!!! Hehehehehehehe!!!!!!!!!!

    February 11, 2014
  3. newmanshade

    Him: “Honey, before I die, there is something I need to tell you. To ease my conscience. I slept with your sister. And your mom.” Her: “I know Sweetie. Now just lie back and let the poison work.”

    February 11, 2014
    1. dreamshadow59

      Hehehehehehehehe!!!!!!

      February 11, 2014
  4. proto-gnostic

    Lmfao Great way to start my day

    February 11, 2014
    1. dreamshadow59

      Thanks…I thought these were funny….thought folks would like them…

      February 11, 2014
      1. proto-gnostic

        I did, I can only think of one better way to start the day….

        February 11, 2014
        1. dreamshadow59

          I don’t NEED to ask because you and I are on the same page…Hehehehehehe….

          February 11, 2014
          1. proto-gnostic

            Cheers Sooz… I’m already there …

            February 11, 2014
  5. rebecca2013

    February 11, 2014
    1. dreamshadow59

      February 11, 2014
  6. briton

    This is rather long but the punch line is worth it.
    A prostitute used to take the money from her clients who would then follow her upstairs and screw her.
    One day halfway up the stairs she farted.The man was totally turned off and left her with the money.
    She was delighted so she kept doing it and it worked every time but one.
    Her last customer just kept following her upstairs.On the landing she asked if her farting didn’t put him off.
    He replied Not at all.When you see the size of my prick you’ll shit yourself.

    February 11, 2014
    1. dreamshadow59

      hehehehehehehehehehehehe….You were right!!!! Hehehehe…

      February 11, 2014
  7. twister

    Awesome stuff

    February 13, 2014
    1. dreamshadow59

      Thanks!!!

      February 13, 2014
  8. dreamshadow59

    I agree whole heartedly!!!

    February 11, 2014