I JUST GOT BITTEN BY A FLEA, UGH!!!

So here’s the thing, I’m minding my OWN business, satisfying a need, and along comes a flea and bites me on my La La land. For those of you who need a quick translation, the damn thing bit me in the crotch.

Interesting, I have never been bitten by an insect before in THIS area. Let me just say…WTF??? You may think it’s funny being looked at like you're in a constant state of masturbation, but, let me tell you, it itches like HELL!!!

I go to my medicine chest and see if I have any anti itch cream…BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!! Then, I remember that if you put vinegar on the bite, it should remove the itch. By now, since I have handled myself like an insane woman, the bite is about the size of New Jersey, and is easily recognizable.

Quickly, I take the vinegar, put in on a Kleenex and apply it to my cooche. OUCH!!! Yes, I screamed like a child as the burning sensation melted away half my Zippee. As you can see, I don’t call my Va Jay-Jay the same thing every time.

I Immediately doused it with water, whimpered a little more,  scratched a little more, and Increased the bite to the size of California).  Desperately, I tried two things:

 A. Getting my hands away from it

 B. Praying to the gods of Flea itch relief

To get my mind off of it, I watched TV thinking this might distract me. It DID until the commercial about Itching cream relief came on…SERIOUSLY??? Guess where my hand went??? Hellllllllp!!!!!

 

 

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Comments (27)

  1. Bettymom

    I got a bee sting on my tongue once – I know it’s not the same, but it really did hurt!!

    August 31, 2017
    1. dreamshadow59

      Ouch!!! This was just annoying.

      August 31, 2017
      1. Bettymom

        My aunt was stung in the belly button by a bumble bee (talk about your onomatopaia!).

        August 31, 2017
        1. dreamshadow59

          Hehehehe

          September 01, 2017
  2. Munkyman

    They call those crabs not fleas.

    August 31, 2017
  3. dreamshadow59

    Hehehehe…Good one!!!

    September 01, 2017
  4. jaageet

    Why call that sonavabitch a flea?

    September 01, 2017
    1. dreamshadow59

      ‘Cause that’s what it was….Little Bastard….

      September 01, 2017
      1. jaageet

        Sonavabitches have two legs. Little bastard fleas have more legs. Stop messing around with Victoria’s dog. Hehehehehehahaha…

        September 02, 2017
        1. dreamshadow59

          Hehehehehehehehe…

          September 02, 2017
  5. jjj22

    they can dip you for 29$

    September 01, 2017
    1. dreamshadow59

      Very Funny!!! Hehehehehehehe….

      September 01, 2017
  6. rebecca2013

    a flea? yick!!

    September 01, 2017
    1. dreamshadow59

      I know, Victoria’s dog has been coming with her when she helps out. It GOT me….(Little Bastard)!!!

      September 01, 2017
    2. dreamshadow59

      I know, Victoria’s dog has been coming with her when she helps out. It GOT me….(Little Bastard)!!!

      September 01, 2017
      1. rebecca2013

        dislike fleas…. especially if they bite down there!!!

        September 02, 2017
        1. dreamshadow59

          Yeah, Vicki’s dog is a cute little Labridoodle but I HATE fleas. That’s why I don’t own a dog…

          September 02, 2017
          1. rebecca2013

            I have a horse… that is just a big dog!! (flea free however!!!!! always a big plus)

            September 04, 2017
            1. dreamshadow59

              I’d love a horse, I used to ride often at a stable near me. Unfortunately, I travel so much, I would hardly ever be around. Horses are beautiful animals and are very inteligent and s gentle.

              September 05, 2017
            2. rebecca2013

              Scamper is a good one… he is very intelligent and gentle he is the perfect horse for Maria and Natty… and yes sometimes I even ride him… he has a great disposition and is very loving… like I said…. like a big dog… although not exactly a lap dog!! hahahahahah

              September 05, 2017
  7. nico44l

    The only way to understand completely the length of the problem is to inspect it myself, so just lay down and spread your sexy legs. You can call me doc.

    September 02, 2017
    1. dreamshadow59

      OK Doc…

      September 02, 2017
  8. varuben

    hi red, how are u?

    September 03, 2017
    1. dreamshadow59

      Gettin’ better each and every day. Things are healing very nicely.

      September 05, 2017
      1. varuben

        September 06, 2017
  9. Dream_On

    Sooz, I never laughed so hard in my life. Seriously, girl you should be a stand up comic after all the itching and swelling goes away. Just be grateful it isn’t the size of Texas. There’s always something to be thankful for. Love ya! Get yourself all better!

    September 04, 2017
    1. dreamshadow59

      Hehehehehehe, you’re right…Hehehehehe…I’m g;ad you enjoyed it…

      September 05, 2017