In the Beginning


In the beginning, there was a Light, or a Spirit, or something or other that said,”Let there be Man”, and man was to be. Next it said,”Let there be an Earth, so that man can have land to fight over, and for me to watch over as entertainment”, and there appeared a planet called Earth.


Then, being tired out after such a horrendous feat said, “ I shall now create evil”, and he created woman, to tempt and to twist man into a pretzel with her devilish ways.


Soon god grew tired of watching men and woman bitch at each other, so he created politicians for a NEW source of entertainment. This proved to be a wonderful accomplishment as the politicians lied, cheated, and seemed as if they would do ANYTHING to get what they wanted. God LOVED to watch them as they lived their lives differently each day.


God was always amused at how they would act to get what they wanted. Some called themselves Democrats and some called themselves Republicans, but BOTH even though they swore had their party values, would connive and deceive to secretly get what THEY wanted.


Meanwhile, the countries they served went to Hell in a hand basket and god laughed and laughed. God knew they were better than ever sending some slithering snake and have Eve bite an apple as an evil gesture, this was just pure gold.


Now, god could always do what he wanted to do and destroy the Earth in a big ball of fire. You see, God always did like shooting off missiles. So one day, when he was a little bored, god had the politicians of one country point and fire their missiles at all the other countries. There was a HUGE explosion, which wiped out ALL the population of the Earth. This time, god would create the perfect world, so he rolled up his sleeves, and said, “Let there be women, and ONLY one man”, who would act as a stud.


And god was happy, and the world flourished.

The End…

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Comments (12)


    Ah, polygamy! That poor man. All the loving in the world would never make up for all the PMS and hot flashes in the world!!!

    June 03, 2017
    1. dreamshadow59


      June 04, 2017
  2. 12SunOryx

    Damnit, who leaked my life story? Thoughts isn’t supposed to be an autobiography!… Or, wait, I guess it is. Alright, carry on.

    June 04, 2017
  3. dreamshadow59


    June 04, 2017
  4. wirelessguru1

    Yup, I AM always amused…

    June 04, 2017
  5. nico44l

    Even if I were the only male on all those females, not even one female would bother making love with me, I think like female and so they would turn all lesbian on me. LOL!

    June 04, 2017
    1. wirelessguru1

      I thought that you were a female…

      June 04, 2017
  6. rebecca2013

    June 05, 2017
  7. magnocrat

    I’ve got a feeling your being a bit over cynical give God his due he has created an interesting puzzle for egghead scientists to scratch their heads over.

    June 06, 2017
  8. briton

    And they keep getting it wrong because they missed the point that the knowledge of good and evil is actually necessary if people are to be complete.

    June 15, 2017
  9. tjtooter

    i’ve been trying to inspire an artist to draw a picture of god and the devil in a sports bar , with a whole mess of people betting on a live feed of a gigantic junk yard dog wearing an american flag cape with a huge swollen tick in an israeli flag cape on his ear, humping the world. any takers?

    June 21, 2017
    1. wirelessguru1

      Only a delusional he/she dude would think of that! LMO

      June 21, 2017