Sooz's Diary

Dear Diary:

As I write these words I am curious to that of Human Nature. Some people see me as a former captain of industry, and now a student redefining her life, others, see me as a drunken whore and a woman without conscience.

It’s almost as if I have two separate personalities, and yet, I am merely a woman, nothing more and nothing less. Yes, I have faults and talents like the rest of Humanity, and yes, my feelings can be hurt, and believe it or not, cut me and I bleed just like you do.

Why is it that MANY want my persona to be the drunk and sexual Nymphomaniac? Is it because I am easy after I am drunk, and they can just have their way with me? Hehehe, perhaps I should send a letter to Just Ask Sooz and find out.

The truth is I AM an alcoholic who IS a Nymphomaniac. I have had my ups and downs with the alcohol, but my sexual response is one in which I have never been able to quell.

Does this mean I don’t have a conscience…NO. I DO have a conscience, one in which I wrestle with each and every day. Why, because it is BECAUSE of my increased sexual arousal that I have created many unhappy people.

If there is a Hell will I burn there for eternity, I HOPE not, and yet, I still can’t seem to control my urges. Should I be doomed for something that is incurable? I don’t know, I wonder about these things a lot.

All this worry is probably just for naught however. If there is a final judgement, I guess I’ll just have to wait and find out the fate that surrounds me. If there is NO final judgement, then I guess I won’t have to worry about these matters.

I guess the best thing I can do is to live my life the best way I know how, and help those who are less fortunate than I am. This way I can at least hedge my bets… Hehehehe.

Until Later Diary…

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Comments (9)

  1. rebecca2013

    ha…. well if you are ever interested in learning about your cravings… you can see me…. have couch will travel….

    March 01, 2017
  2. wirelessguru1

    Well, these days I see you more as a delusional anti-Trump snowflake! LOL!!!

    March 01, 2017
    1. dreamshadow59

      Hehehehe

      March 02, 2017
  3. wirelessguru1

    ..and don’t worry about any final judgement since I AM already judging you here every day…

    March 01, 2017
    1. dreamshadow59

      Yikes!!! 😝😝😝

      March 02, 2017
  4. noahbody

    Live your life and don’t be concerned with what others think. It is YOUR life after all.

    March 02, 2017
  5. dreamshadow59

    Amen!!! Thanks.

    March 02, 2017
  6. notthinking

    Agreed Noah.

    You know, you can shit some of the people all the time, all the people some of the time but you should never shit yourself. Just say NO to SELF-DEFECATION. In other words, it sounds like you are being real and know yourself, dreamshadow59. Whether you wish to, or can, change yourself may be something you wish to consider. That is up to you. Be the best you, you can be.

    March 03, 2017
  7. dreamshadow59

    I would like to and have tried now for many years with drugs, Psychiatrists, etc…All to no avail.

    March 03, 2017