The Afterlife Ooooooooowww

 

 

I read a writing prompt from Writers Digest with this topic and I thought…Hey…What the Hell…

 

People are always wondering about the afterlife right, IS there one, do we come back as animals, or insects, is there really BEER in Heaven, all these things that we NEED to know.

 

Well, I still can’t answer any of these questions, although I sincerely HOPE that there IS beer; I know….I know… the song says… In Heaven There Ain’t No Beer, but I’m still hopin’.  Anyway, I thought I would give you MY rendition of EXACTLY what happens once we cross over into that big scary beyond.

 

Now, of course for all you devoted Atheists out there this may be a boring read as you believe that NOTHING happens, you die, Batta Bing…Batta Boom…Finis… Well, I’m asking you to use your imagination as I am here and just play along with me.

 

So…here’s what I think happens. You “buy the farm”, (Gotta do that first right), and then you walk through a long ass tunnel with a light at the end of it ‘cause that’s what’s supposed to happen. NOPE…No  St. Peter or pearly gates, you get there and you’re welcomed by a guide, some think it’s your wife, husband, or significant other, but I think you are greeted by a more nondescript guide like Homer Simpson.

 

He takes you around showing you all the wonders of Heaven like the Spa, the Pool Room, the 18 Hole Golf course, tennis courts, the massive banquet hall, and THEN…he takes you to the bar. Oh YES!!! There IS alcohol in Heaven…Now of course if you DON’T drink, you can have any number of assorted sodas or Virgin beverages. OK….I KNOW what you’re thinking…Hey, you’re dead, you’re a spirit now, you don’t eat or drink…BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! While it’s true you don’t HAVE to eat or drink, if you enjoyed these pleasures in life, you can enjoy them in Heaven…So OWWWWW!!!!!

 

Next, he shows you to your quarters—WOW!!! A 15 bedroom suite, just in case you wanna have Angels over. I mean this place is opulent, crystal chandeliers, more bathrooms than you could EVER use, Gold appliances, and the finest crystal glasses and settings Angels could make…Did I mention servants…Oh yes, all the servants you have wait on you hand and foot. They are all the people who treated YOU mean in life. Ex. Your Mother-in-Law is the floor washer, your ex-wife or husband is the chauffeur, the people who never invited you over for New Year’s Eve, they’re your gardeners. This is THEIR HELL for eternity…SWEET!!!!!! Just shows ya that turn about is fair play…

 

I could go on and on here but it might get too long and boring after a while so I’ll leave you with this thought…”Now you know why people are just “DYING” to get here” …OK….I’ll stop now….

 

Until Later…

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Comments (87)

  1. EZWAYZ

    lol, quite the visual

    February 26, 2014
    1. dreamshadow59

      Thanks…

      February 26, 2014
  2. wirelessguru1

    Is that the stairway to heaven?

    February 26, 2014
    1. dreamshadow59

      YUP!!!! Hehehehehe….

      February 26, 2014
      1. wirelessguru1

        February 26, 2014
  3. rebecca2013

    when I finally go home…. I would like to think it will be exactly like México…. tortillas and Tequila…. and good Mariachi Music….

    February 26, 2014
    1. dreamshadow59

      Ohhhh….That was in a different section I didn’t GET to because of its length…Hehehe…..

      February 26, 2014
      1. rebecca2013

        haha we have the best beach in Heaven!!!…. and I would love to think my Poppa is sitting there now… enjoying the rays…. and popped open a Corona and toasted it to me!!! That’s Heaven for me….

        February 26, 2014
        1. dreamshadow59

          I’m sure he is my sweet….

          February 27, 2014
          1. rebecca2013

            I am too….. and He may be playing Pool… I can just see that in my head

            February 27, 2014
            1. dreamshadow59

              Funny really…I don’t even know him but I can see him in my minds eye doing just that…Raising his beer and saying…“I Love You Mousie”…

              February 27, 2014
            2. rebecca2013

              Gracias…… sniff….. I think so too!!!

              February 27, 2014
  4. cjb321

    Alleluia!!!!!

    February 27, 2014
    1. dreamshadow59

      February 27, 2014
  5. newmanshade

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPna6g0dPaA

    February 27, 2014
    1. dreamshadow59

      February 27, 2014
  6. newmanshade

    The link above is for a song called “Do You Think There Will Be Hummers In Heaven?”

    February 27, 2014
    1. dreamshadow59

      Ohhhh…I HOPE so…I LOVE giving them…OR…Did you mean the automobile…Hehehehehe…

      February 27, 2014
  7. briton

    Heaven’s no big deal.There just won’t be any party poopers around.

    February 27, 2014
    1. dreamshadow59

      Works for ME!!!!

      February 27, 2014
    2. wirelessguru1

      Awesome, so briton will not be there… LOL!!!

      February 28, 2014
  8. briton

    The buggers will all be in hell getting on each other’s nerves!

    February 27, 2014
    1. dreamshadow59

      Hehehehehehe!!!!!!!!!!

      February 27, 2014
    2. wirelessguru1

      Awesome, so good to know where you are and will be…

      February 28, 2014
  9. wartfinder

    Of course you would say that, but you’re already in hell.
    Of course there’s an Afterlife and it’s nothing to do with God either. Briton, an animal soul, will obviously soon reincarnate here as a bluebottle to be swatted the moment it comes anywhere near me. BTW, there’s no Heaven, but there is a place called Illusion Land. Make the most of it, Briton, but I get the feeling you’re bound for Winter Land, a place that will reflect your state of mind.

    February 27, 2014
    1. dreamshadow59

      Awwwww…Come on now…THAT’S not nice….Let’s be friendly here on MY blog!!!

      February 27, 2014
    2. briton

      There’s an example of the sort of pathetic outcast that will go to hell.They’ll all just end up together and create their own hell.

      February 27, 2014
      1. dreamshadow59

        Come on now…The same goes for you….I run a HAPPY BLOG!!!

        February 28, 2014
        1. wartfinder

          Not with Briton! He’s a real killjoy.

          February 28, 2014
          1. dreamshadow59

            No comment…..

            February 28, 2014
            1. briton

              That shithead is an obvious troublemaker.I know the type only too well.
              Vengeance is mine saith the Lord.

              February 28, 2014
            2. briton

              Everything was a good laugh until that obscenity stuck its face in
              By their works shall ye know them.

              February 28, 2014
            3. wirelessguru1

              Well briton, once you stuck your face here you immediately infected this thread!

              February 28, 2014
        2. briton

          If you want your blog to stay happy you’ll have to block shitheads who can only try to stir up trouble.

          February 28, 2014
          1. wirelessguru1

            I agree that she should block you! LOL!!!

            February 28, 2014
          2. dreamshadow59

            Why can’t we all just get a long???

            February 28, 2014
          3. dreamshadow59

            Why can’t we all just get a long???

            February 28, 2014
            1. wirelessguru1

              Because some like briton are obviously evil.

              March 01, 2014
      2. wirelessguru1

        Well briton is a pathetic outcast who destroys happy blogs! LOL!!!

        February 28, 2014
  10. wartfinder

    Heaven and Hell are touchy subjects. You’ve already upset Briton. He takes these places very seriously. Please be more careful in future.

    February 28, 2014
    1. dreamshadow59

      It’s a BLOG for God’s sake……Come on!!! I love you BOTH!!!

      February 28, 2014
      1. wartfinder

        I’m not very lovable. Briton, even less so.

        February 28, 2014
      2. briton

        The Beatles have left you full of their all you need is love crap.You can’t even see through an obvious piece of shit like fartfinder.

        February 28, 2014
        1. wirelessguru1

          Well briton, she seems to accept all, even evil people like you!

          February 28, 2014
    2. briton

      Go to hell,fartfinder.
      You’ll find plenty of farts like yourself there.

      February 28, 2014
      1. wartfinder

        You mean we won’t meet, shitty Britty? Quelle dommage!

        February 28, 2014
      2. wirelessguru1

        So briton, do you enjoy being in hell?

        February 28, 2014
        1. briton

          So fartfinder and brainlesshuru team up That’s nice.Fartfinder finds a fellow fart.

          February 28, 2014
          1. wirelessguru1

            So briton, you must be the fart! LOL!!!

            February 28, 2014
          2. briton

            Turds of a feather stink together.

            February 28, 2014
            1. wirelessguru1

              Well, you definitely stink!

              February 28, 2014
            2. briton

              Brainless copycat parrot.Hell will be full of your kind.Enjoy!

              February 28, 2014
            3. wirelessguru1

              Nope, hell is for you and your kind!

              February 28, 2014
  11. briton

    Not very lovable?You’re a hateful piece of shit.
    Life will be heaven when scumbags like you have gone to hell.

    February 28, 2014
    1. wirelessguru1

      NO, you are!

      February 28, 2014
      1. briton

        brainless parrot

        February 28, 2014
        1. wirelessguru1

          YES YOU ARE!

          February 28, 2014
          1. briton

            Yet more brainless parroting from a worthless hell bound idiot.

            February 28, 2014
            1. wirelessguru1

              Yes you are – a worthless hell bound idiot.

              February 28, 2014
            2. briton

              Brainless copycat fart

              April 06, 2014
            3. wirelessguru1

              Yes you are.

              April 06, 2014
            4. briton

              Proving my point again.That’s how brainless you are.

              April 09, 2014
  12. wartfinder

    Dreamshadow : did you ever in your wildest dreams that you’d managed to stir up a hornets’ nest? Your Heaven sounds like a fun place and I’m hoping to get it off with tons of sluts. I have heard you can smoke there, so booze is possible too. And the golf is also on. Now for religious types, they will STILL attract their own illusions, so Briton can fry to his heart’s content!

    February 28, 2014
    1. dreamshadow59

      Nope…I always just wanted to write a nice fun blog….ALAS!!!

      February 28, 2014
      1. wirelessguru1

        Well, briton has a nasty tendency to infect things!

        February 28, 2014
        1. briton

          Really?Can you explain your reasoning?

          March 01, 2014
          1. wirelessguru1

            Hello, hello, your evil posts speak for themselves! Wake up!!!

            March 01, 2014
      2. briton

        You had a fun blog without fartfinder and brainlesshuru.Does that tell you anything about that pair of knickers??

        February 28, 2014
        1. wirelessguru1

          Actually it was fun before you came in and INFECTED IT!!!

          February 28, 2014
          1. briton

            You weren’t around then you shitheaded hell bound liar.

            March 01, 2014
            1. wirelessguru1

              Hello, hello, I made the second reply here on her afterlife thread! Wake up!!!
              So I was here way before you came in and infected her thread! WAKE UP!!!

              March 01, 2014
            2. briton

              That was no reply.It was an empty,meaningless question typical of a brainless piece of hell bound shit like you.

              April 06, 2014
            3. wirelessguru1

              WOW! So evil (briton) just returned to this thread!!!

              April 06, 2014
  13. briton

    If you haven’t the brains to stop asking for it you’ll keep getting it,shithead.Heaven’s for decent people,not the scum of the earth like you.

    February 28, 2014
    1. wirelessguru1

      So and obviously heaven is NOT for you!

      February 28, 2014
      1. briton

        Brainless copycat scumbag.

        February 28, 2014
        1. wirelessguru1

          YES YOU ARE!

          February 28, 2014
  14. briton

    Brainless copycat parrot

    March 01, 2014
    1. wirelessguru1

      YES YOU ARE!

      March 01, 2014
      1. briton

        There you go showing yourself up as a brainless copycat.That’s how smart you are.

        April 06, 2014
        1. wirelessguru1

          Yes I AM smart.

          April 06, 2014
          1. briton

            You’re as thick as pigshit and too thick to know it.

            April 06, 2014
            1. wirelessguru1

              briton = evil.

              April 06, 2014
            2. briton

              Polly the brainless parrot

              April 09, 2014
  15. briton

    The worms crawl in,the worms crawl out
    They crawl in thin and they crawl out stout

    April 06, 2014
    1. briton

      Enjoy your dream.

      April 06, 2014