The Life of a Pencil

It’s been a while since I have written anything really funny, so, I thought I would it would be time to give my funny bone a workout. I sat here and thought about several different things that would be funny, like North Korea and it’s crazy ass leader, bathing habits, and of course POOP.

While ALL of these are funny subjects, I’ve decided to write about A Day in the Life of a Pencil…What??? You don’t think that’s funny, Come ON!!! This will be from the perspective of the pencil. How could it NOT be funny. You’ll LAUGH your ass off.

(Big Yawn)… “What a glorious day”. “I am ready, willing and able to start my writing duties, LET’S GO!!! “Oh good, here comes a kid now, that’s it, pick me up and let’s do some drawing or writing”.

 “

Hey kid,wait just a cotton pickin’ minute, what are you DOING, Awwwwww, DON’T put your tongue on my eraser….YUCK”. “Hey kid, try using my WRITING side, what are you doing anyway, teething, Gheese”!!!

“Damn it kid, you just ATE my fucking eraser”. NOW what are you gonna do when you make a mistake”? “Well, there goes my MODELING career”. What’s WRONG with these Humans anyway”???

“OK, here we go, FINALLY, that’s it, press me nice and easy against the paper… I said EEEEEASY kid”. “Oh NO… OOOOOUCCCCHHHH!!!!!” Now you’ve broken my fucking point, will you PLEASE watch it kid”???  Hey, where are you going”? “NO, NOT the SHARPENER”…

“Shit, here it comes”. “OOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHH”!!!

“Oh man, I am Soooooooo FUCKING sore now. Just put me the HELL down kid, and go wreck something else”. “Thank God”… Finally, some time to rest up and recoup, good night all”…I LIVE to fight another day!!!

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Comments (17)

  1. Bettymom

    Hahahaha! Afraid this one will end up in the back of the drawer where the pencils with no erasers live!

    July 06, 2017
    1. dreamshadow59

      Yup, it sure will…Hehehehehehe….

      July 08, 2017
  2. noahbody

    LOL! Good one!

    July 06, 2017
    1. dreamshadow59

      Thank you…

      July 08, 2017
  3. Munkyman

    My 1st grade teacher took our erasers away from us, if we made a mistake we had to do it all over. She is one of a handful of teachers I really loathed.

    July 06, 2017
    1. Munkyman

      I wish I could wish something worse than being a public school teacher on her.

      July 06, 2017
      1. dreamshadow59

        Now now!!!

        July 08, 2017
    2. dreamshadow59

      I went to Catholic school for a while and the Nuns did that all the time…

      July 08, 2017
  4. roe
    You really got to the point right away when you wrote this blog lol

    July 07, 2017
    1. smitty45

      Pun intended I suspect haha

      July 07, 2017
      1. dreamshadow59

        July 08, 2017
      2. roe
        Of course

        July 10, 2017
    2. dreamshadow59

      Indeed…. Hehehehehehe….

      July 08, 2017
      1. roe

        Lol

        July 10, 2017
  5. smitty45

    I use to put the pencils over other my fingers but under my middle finger and break them,, also use to use the pencil sharpner on new pencils till just a nub was left.. Simple things amused a simple mind hahaha

    July 07, 2017
    1. dreamshadow59

      Hmmmmmmmmmmm???

      July 08, 2017
      1. smitty45

        ok,,, simple thing STILL amuse a simple mind haha

        July 08, 2017